I fully realize that most of the time it’s an honest mistake. You’ve never met me before, and the deep voice, facial scruff, short hair, binded chest, and broad shoulders are clearly not foolproof in all situations. (In case you didn’t pick up on that, there was a full dose of sarcasm there).
But come on..
Even if you’re not 100% sure which pronouns to use, aren’t you at least 80%? Hell, even 60. Why do you insist on going with the less probable 20%? Is life not a game of percentages? For example: I’m 90% sure that I’m going to run out of gas before I get home.. so I will stop to get gas. See how easy that is?
Or my favorite: It’s hard on you? Please tell me… how? How does it take any effort at all? How does this impact your day or your life whatsoever?
The fact is, it doesn’t. Your day goes on exactly the same regardless of how you address me or how many times you misgender me. The impact on you is 0%.
But for me, you should know that each time feels like a full on sucker punch to the stomach and it just 100% ruined my day – in case my full body cringe and absolute death stare did not convey that.
The moral of the story for you cis (non-trans) folks out there: get the hell over it and put in the very little effort required to pay attention to this. It’s really not that hard. If you’re not sure, just ask.
Some people (trans and cis alike) get offended if you ask them which pronouns they prefer. If I had nothing better to do, I would spend the time and energy getting upset and ranting about that too, because I don’t prefer one way or another, this is not preference. This is fact. I am male, so address me accordingly, damnit. But, while asking me what I prefer, how I identify, and what you should call me may not be 100% politically correct, these options are all a hell of a lot better than assuming incorrectly and I’ll happily answer them.